Planning a Party? Ya May Want to Read This First…

In a few weeks I am throwing a party. I don’t throw parties. I don’t even understand people who are constantly inviting scores of people to wander into their homes to sit around eating adorably small sandwiches and silently judge their host’s skills. On top of all of the critical brains at work, it seems that a plate is always ready to tip off a counter or a dog is waiting to jump up on your friend who has a deadly allergy. Too many things can go wrong! And yet, I am making a point to stand up to my fear and throw a party, to stare the beast in the eyes and conquer it. Wish me luck.

Perhaps it is a poor idea, but since deciding to throw this party, I have silently been coming up with a list of all the possible tragedies that might strike the celebration next week and some potential solutions. Maybe it will help me be prepared? Or perhaps it will simply psyche me out and make me have a panic attack before the party even gets started. Either way, I hope that by sharing this list you can enjoy, commiserate, and maybe even advise.


1.) Sometimes the people you invite aren’t always as genuine as they seem. Make sure that your favorite t-shirt hasn’t mysteriously disappeared after the party’s end. Keep an eye out for friends who bring in large, empty tote bags and leave with large, bulging tote bags. You never know.

2.) Serving Cranberry juice for people to drink in your living room where you’ve just put in a white rug. Probably not a good idea.

3.) If you’re having an outdoor party, make sure that the wolves from the woods nearby don’t get too close to the perimeter of your yard.*

4.) Party crashers always seem to pose a threat. You don’t want your cozy gathering of 10 to become a roof raising extravaganza of 200. That’s not fun for anyone.

5.) Make sure that all of your bathrooms are CLEARLY MARKED. If people can’t find a restroom when they need one you have no way of predicting what they’re capable of.

6.) If you are using assigned seating, make sure that you don’t seat your crazy friend next to your buttoned up second cousin. Keeping people from jabbing their dessert spoons into their neighbor’s eye halfway through dinner is simply exhausting for an already stressed out party host.

7.) Running out of ice. People get upset
So if you, like me, are nervous about hosting a party, stay calm and don’t pull your hair out just yet. Look over my list. Throwing a party can be scary – I won’t argue with that – but if you follow look out for these looming obstacles, you might just make it out alive. And who knows? It could even be fun.

Happy hosting,


*In case a wolf ever does encounter your party, don’t panic. Instead, party harder! Noise will scare the wolf and it should run away. It’s good to know – just in case.


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